Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Crazy cat lady

This afternoon Angie and I went to Wal-Mart (I cringe as I admit it ...). I hate going to Wal-Mart, but I needed a ton of things that Bi-Lo just doesn't carry, so I swallowed my pride and dove blindly into "we sell for less" madness.

All was well until I got in line behind the crazy cat lady. ** Sidenote: This is a fear I have, thanks to a nameless ex-boyfriend who jokingly told me I'd end up like our old Spanish professor - all alone, with tossled hair, wearing long hippie skirts, 10-year-old Birkenstocks and having something like 10 cats who are treated like children. **

OK, so I was behind this crazy cat lady in line. I knew she was a cat lady because she had probably 50-60 cans of Friskies wet cat food in her shopping cart, plus her jacket was covered in fur. Now, I love cats. I'd have more than one if it didn't cost $300 per pet where I live. But, I would draw the line at TWO cats. Honestly.

The "crazy" part comes in when I started placing my items on the checkout belt. I mistakenly thought that since she had left all of her cat food in her basket that she was simply going to hand the cashier one can and tell her just how many cans were in her cart so not every can would have to be scanned. Makes sense, but that's NOT what she had in mind.

I started loading my groceries on the back half of the belt. As I was leaning into my shopping cart, I heard a SLAM!! Apparently, I'd upset the crazy cat lady by taking up her space. I jumped, spun around and looked at her bewildered. She had slammed the divider bar between my things and the front half of the empty conveyer belt. She gave me a menacing glare and mumbled something about rudeness under her breath. I apologized, but that wasn't enough, apparently. She ignored my humble attempt at rectifying the situation and methodically began slamming her 50-60 cans of Friskies onto the belt, each time turning to look at me with her glare to make sure I got the point. Some people!!!

At any rate, it took a good, long time for all those cans of cat food to be scanned. And I've learned my lesson. Crazies lurk at Wally World. I am not a crazy, therefore I'm not going back. ... At least not until I need something Bi Lo doesn't stock. Sigh. The madness will never end.

Oh, I found this on the Internet today, it's a crazy cat lady action figure. Pretty funny, eh?!?

I will not end up a crazy cat lady. I will not end up a crazy cat lady. I will not end up a crazy cat lady. I will not end up a crazy cat lady. I will not end up a crazy cat lady. I will not end up a crazy cat lady.