Wednesday, December 21, 2005

So this is Christmas ...

Despite past experiences, including once getting stuck in a store's parking lot for 3 long hours due to holiday traffic, I ventured to Target this afternoon. This absolutely unnecessary shopping excursion commenced at 3:30 p.m. ... the exact time everyone else in Chattanooga decided to head toward the big red bull's eye.

It was quite the Christmas spectacle - and I don't mean in a feel-good holiday spirit sort of way.

Frazzled store associates tried their best to help over-zealous soccer moms locate lap desks and Ryan Cabrera CDs. I heard more than a dozen screaming children, many of whom were pitching all-out fits over chocolates or various and sundry other stocking stuffers meant to be scarffed down on Christmas Day, not in the middle of a jam-packed Target aisle.

There were bright red shopping carts at every turn, abandoned smack in the middle of the aisles - their drivers, looking much like deer in headlights, peering up at store shelves not knowing what to grab next.
Red bows or gold bows?
Gift bags or wrapping paper?
White shirt boxes or printed shirt boxes?
The possibilities were endless, and too much for some folks to bear. I witnessed one meltdown between a mother and her teenaged daughter. It was over gift labels. I swear to God.

It's funny how the holidays turn typically normal Target shoppers into the (dare I say it) heathens who roam Wal-Mart aisles at all hours of the day. I know this is an evil thing to say, but you know I'm right. I avoid Wal-Mart at all costs - simply to steer clear of people who seem to be devoid of manners, common sense - or both.

I think the holidays somehow clear our heads and replace our normal-functioning brains with red-and-green mush, complete with tinsel and lights.

I will be so glad when Jan. 2 gets here.