Friday, February 03, 2006

2 + 9 = @#*!

The number 29 seems so harmless ... boring, actually, doesn't it?

I've never been a fan of odd numbers. And this lackluster numeral is just not at all appealing on a variety of levels - but mainly because it has sent me into a bit of a tizzy lately.

Age 29 is a little more than a month away. (Insert classic horror flick scream here.)

I know, I know ... you're only as old as you feel; age is just a number, and so on. But that's all thrown out the window when you really start to evaluate yourself and ask where the heck time went. God knows I don't think of myself as 29.

It's funny how inching one year closer to yet another decade can be more than a little unnerving. But I think the big 3-0 is packed with unfair innuendo - namely the end of one's carefree single life and the beginning of spinsterhood.

A single girl approaching 30 is often the subject of conversation - be it good or bad - that revolves around when she's going to "settle down." You know - get married, buy a home, start popping out children, join the PTA and become the wholesome soccer mom America has somehow grown to love (and hate).

That's just not happened in my life, and although deep down I'm fine with that, I still don't know how comfortable I am with single life. Friends have been getting married/engaged left and right, and by God, I don't want to be the girl people secretly recite the saying, "always the bridesmaid and never the bride" about.

Then there's the financial situation. As I've alluded to here before, I'm not rollin' in the dough. Not that I'm dying to be super wealthy, but how great would it be to go on a shopping excursion and not automatically head for the sales racks. Buying clothes at full price is unspeakable, and I'm sick of it. Really, I am.

I guess getting closer to age 30 (what I secretly consider to be a true "adult") has made me take inventory of my personal life, my accomplishments and, yes, my failures. We can always look back and see the things we could have done differently, but looking ahead is more difficult. What move is next, what decisions lie ahead and where the coming years will take me are on my mind a lot lately.

I blame it on 29.

But this could be a good thing.