Sunday, August 19, 2007

Tough decision

"Winners never quit. Quitters never win."
I remember staring long and hard at the poster mounted above the blackboard in my fifth-grade reading class.

Even back then I hated that saying because, quite frankly, there are some things that you absolutely have to give up - otherwise you'll go mad.

In fifth-grade it was the spelling bee.

Oh, yes, I could spell with the best of them. I probably could have at least come in second or third. However, stage fright was a very real thing for 11-year-old Stacey. It came equipped with hives, intestinal issues and closed off airways. Polka-dotted skin, urgent sprints to the bathroom and the inability to breathe left me with no other choice. Seriously.

So, spelling "elephant" wrong in the first round was my way of combatting the inevitible result of a full-blown panic attack, and to this day I feel it was the right decision.


Yes, folks, I butchered the word, but I saved myself.

That saying that hung above Mrs. Camp's blackboard has been resounding in my head over the last couple of days. I've been bogged down with the weight of an exam that I HAVE TO PASS, combined with the statistics course that I also have to pass. Both involve math. Both are super important. Both are seriously affecting my daily thoughts in a negative way.

The exam is the most important of the two. I seriously have got to pass the Praxis before November. Otherwise I won't be able to become a "real" student in January. Which means I won't be able be a student at all because I must have financial aid, and until I pass this test there're no aid for me.

All of this rambling is leading up to a very difficult decision I made last night after an episode that zipped me back in time to that spelling bee and that dang poster. I'm not a quitter ... I hate quitting anything at all. But, I'm dropping statistics and hiring a math tutor for the Praxis.

In the end, I think this is a good thing. I'll pick up statistics again at some point and will probably do better at it without having to worry about a standardized test that decides my fate for the next several years.

So, I'm not a quitter. I'm an informed decision maker.

Yeah ... that's it!