I made myself leave my house today

... as in, I called Jim and told him he better come get me; I've been in bed too much this week.

No, I'm not "sick," but I'm still feeling rather blue. And for no real reason other than one thing that I cannot blog about because, well, I just can't.

In reality, things are going just as they always have, and I think that's the main problem I'm having. My world isn't evolving, and that's not exactly something I'm proud of.

As you know if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, I was accepted into the master's program at UTC last year. Have I taken the exam I need to be an official student? Nope. I let my anxiety about the math portion of the exam get the best of me and then began seriously questioning my desire to be a teacher. This was spurred by a particularly vivid dream in which one of my students made a bloody mess of himself after crashing full-speed into a piece of playground equipment. That pretty much scared the bejesus out of me, and it was all downhill from there.

What would I do if a kid broke an arm in my care? Lord knows I wouldn't want to make that call home. What if I didn't meet all the requirements set by the No Child Left Behind Act? What if I truly sucked at teaching?

There are about a zillion more "what ifs" where those came from.

So, the whole teaching gig is off. I've talked myself out of it completely. So now where does that leave me? Hmm ... well, I really couldn't tell ya.

In talking with several friends, it's been pounded into my brain that teaching is something I probably would be good at, but creativity, design and anything that would allow me to add my own color is more my calling.

So, it's decision time once again. And I'm scared to death. Maybe this is why I've been curled up tightly, wrapped in piles of blankets over the last several weeks. I don't know, but what I do know is that something's got to give. Otherwise my outlook on life is going to be so negative that I won't even want to be around myself.

How bad is that?

I've been tagged!

Felicia over at Bread, W(h)ine & Cheese tagged me with a meme. I haven't done one in a WHILE, so what the heck! Here it is.

THE RULES:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

OK, those of you who know me are keenly aware of my many idiosyncrasies, but I guess it's time to share them with the interweb. This should be interesting.

1. I have had a mad crush on Jon Bon Jovi since I was in fourth grade. I remember like it was yesterday the horrible knot in my stomach after I learned on my way to school that he had, in fact, married that Dorthea woman and not me. I mean, come on! Why wouldn't he want a sixth-grader with a horrid perm and crooked teeth? I was devastated to the point of tears - and lots of 'em.

2. I have a huge fear of commitment, and yet I'm dying to settle down and start a family. It makes no sense to me, or anyone else for that matter. I've been told my outlook on relationships mirrors that of many men - and not women. I hate that.

3. I've lived in five states: Nebraska, Mississippi, Indiana, Georgia and Tennessee. And one other country: Japan. I would love to live in Florida one day, but my favorite U.S. city to visit is Washington, D.C., by a landslide.

4. I wish I were a rock star. No, seriously. Music is my passion in life, but I can't carry a tune in a bucket, and I never could figure out how to read music. I got kicked out of guitar lessons in junior high because I would just memorize the songs without learning the notes. I was so irked.

5. Remember Ace of Base? I'll always associate "The Sign" with my junior year of high school when Allison got her first car - a bright red Dodge Colt hatchback. We were driving waaaay too fast with all the windows down, blasting that particularly horrid song and singing at the top of our lungs. Nothing compares to the sheer joy of youth.

6. All of my fingers are double-jointed, which was awesome in elementary school. I was the freaky little girl who bent her fingers in unnatural ways to scare little boys. So cool.

7. I could eat Mexican food every day for the rest of my life and still not get tired of it. I love Mexican food - a lot. I also love margaritas. And Mexican beer is at the top of my list. Maybe I should forget Florida and move south of the border?

I won't tag anyone else like I'm supposed to, but feel free to post seven weird things about yourself. I know I'll read it!

Favorite site of 2008 (so far)

If you love music ... heck, even if you just like music, you must check out Pandora.

I'm all about free stuff. And listening to (not downloading) free music is what it's about at Pandora. Boring? Nope ... the best part is being introduced to artists you probably never would have heard of otherwise.

The basic rundown: Plug in your favorite band, musician, etc. Wait as Pandora loads an unlimited supply of songs that have the same general sound as your favorites. Hear new music. Enjoy old music. Get acquainted with music beyond that crap on the radio.

Simple, eh?

A big thanks goes to Joe, husband to the great Cady over at Not So Newlywed for introducing me to this site. You rock, Joe.

Blah

The word pretty much sums up my feelings lately.

Neither happy nor sad, excited nor bored. Just "blah." It probably is the reason why I haven't been blogging as much, too. I think I've got some inner turmoil brewing, and surely it'll be resolved soon.

Until then, here are a few more pictures from Mexico. I really wish I could have stayed.

My attempt at a pretty shot outside the church.

Broken English spoken here ... Chad and his mother attempt to get directions from a Mexican police officer.

Passing through a residential area of Cozumel.

I hadn't had one drink. Not one. This is my happy vacation face. Scary, eh?

Back at the port - boats waiting to head out.

Rockin' cruise

"Can you feel the ship moving?"
"Have you ever felt sea sick?"

Two questions I've been asked repeatedly after returning from a cruise. I have always answered with no way ... you can barely feel the ship moving - much less rocking. And as far as sea sickness goes, I once got a little queasy after a day of drinking with my dad in Cozumel, but that had nothing to do with the ship.

But now, all those answers have been voided. So yes, you can feel the ship moving, rocking AND vibrating. And, oh yes, I've been sea sick. I apparently wasn't the only one; there were barf bags placed along every banister on the ship for the duration of the cruise. I've never seen that before.

The ship was the Grandeur of the Seas, and no, I will never step foot on that ship again.

But that's not to say we didn't have a great time. I just took things a little slower than usual and pretty much shied away from adult beverages.

Here are some pictures from our trip.


Chad, Jamie and I just before sail away. All holding rum runners and margaritas ... before we knew of our impending doom!


Recognize these guys? When I looked at the entertainment list and saw the Nelson twins were performing, I nearly swallowed my tongue I gasped so loudly. Let me just say that in their heyday (late '80s, early '90s), I thought they were fabulous. Remember "I Can't Live without your Love and Affection"? How about "After the Rain"? Probably not, but I do, and so I had to have my picture taken with Matthew and Gunnar Nelson after their tribute show to their father, the late Ricky Nelson. It was awesome. And yes, I am a dork.


One of the coolest parts of our stop in Cozumel, Mexico, was our visit to the Corpus Christi Catholic church on Ash Wednesday. Jamie pretty much insisted that she had to go to church on Ash Wednesday, so we looked online, located the closest Catholic church and made our way through streets with no sidewalks, dodging inquisitive looks from locals while the hot, hot heat beat down on us. I'd never been inside a Catholic church, but I must say that I felt at home. The burning candles, fresh flowers and statues were welcoming. And the stained glass doors were so beautiful. I was so glad we went.


After tromping back to the touristy section of Cozumel, we met up with my dad, who had planted himself firmly at the bar in Carlos and Charlie's. While he and a few others in our group enjoyed some Mexican beer, Jamie and I sucked down a couple soft drinks and tried to cool off. I had a few people I wanted to bring something back for, so I rounded everyone up and we took off to do some shopping. About an hour later, after several complaints of not feeling well, Jamie tossed her cookies right in the middle of a shopping center - as vendors waved their hands, shouting, "TEQUILA!!!" I shouted back that she was completely sober. It's amazing what a good yakking can do because 5 minutes later, she was back to herself and all was well!


We celebrated several birthdays on this cruise, including Jamie's 32nd. Our head waiter, Lenon, brought out tiramasu and a group of waiters sang "Happy Birthday."


And finally, this picture pretty much sums up the rest of people on our cruise. Oh, so lively. Ha! (No, I don't know these folks!)

I feel like I'm still moving ...

The cruise was wonderful, despite the fact that the ship rocked back and forth the ENTIRE time. As vacations tend to do, it went by far too quickly, but it's also great to be home.

I've got tons of pictures and stories to share. But I think my pillow is calling my name. I'll sort it all out tomorrow and tell you guys all about the trip!

Adios!!

I'm outta here!!

Not looking forward to the LONG drive to Tampa tomorrow, but it will be WELL worth it!

I'll be back next week.

Cheers!